shine on you crazy diamond

as many of you know, we'll be flying out for the memorial service tomorrow morning. probably have to leave about 5am from home, and will be in mnpls @340pm.

it has been a long week, and it is starting to catch up with me...and joe too. we are both emotionally and physically exhausted.

sunday night, when we first heard chase was missing, and then later heard he was found dead, it was just too unbelievable. we had no details at all, so i was holding out for the chance that there had been a misunderstanding. mainly i was shocked and in denial i guess. the second day, when the horrifying details started to emerge, that was when it definitely hit the hardest...talking to friends to the first time, breaking the news, imagining how it happened. it was all too much.

i know it sounds corny, but for me, listening to 'shine on you crazy diamond', i had a breakdown monday night. one thing about chase was that he was really intense about his music...so things like neil young and pink floyd have a particular resonance right now with this whole mess. ben and jim, also so far away from everyone, had a similar monday: listening to music, reflecting, drinking.

it'll be a difficult weekend, but it is so very crucial for us to connect with everyone...and to have some kind of closure with chase. obviously it won't be over after this weekend, but it will bring some element of concrete reality to the situation. it's hard to be down here, so removed from everyone at a time like this. it just seems unreal.

thank you to all who called/wrote/etc. this past week. the outpouring of support is incredible. for those of you not active on myspace, take a look at chase's profile. he's got people around the globe expressing their grief & love for him. myspace can be pretty silly most of the time, but i think in this instance it has proved to be a really valuable resource for people to connect. there are also so many videos online of his work; i was talking to dwyer about this...it's just amazing that he is there. his voice is there.

well, joe just got home so we'd better get to the laundromat...so we can pack for the morning. more later...